Writer's Workshop - Poem to my boys

Over at Mama's Losin' It, Mama Kat hosts a writer's workshop where we choose one of the prompts listed and write a story/poem about that prompt.

My prompt for the day is...3.) Write a poem for the little boy in your life...

TO MY BOYS...

Your names and birthstones on my mother's bracelet remind me
of the things that I thought could be.
You were my little boys in every way
I think about, pray for and wish you were still here every day.
I cherished each moment we had
thoughts of when I had to hand you over still make me sad.
I loved you as my own
and I hope that you felt that as you have grown.

This poem was written for two of our foster babies that were truly "our boys" in every way. Alex was our third placement, he came to us at 2 days old and left at 12 1/2 mos. old. Isaiah was our sixth placement, he came to us at 3 mos. old and left at 18 mos. old. I'll have to write their stories sometime, both stories are lengthy, sad and hard for me to think about still.

Writer's Workshop - Where I want to be

Over at Mama's Losin' It, Mama Kat hosts a writer's workshop where we choose one of the prompts listed and write a story/poem about that prompt.

My prompt for the day... 5.) Where would you like to be?

There are two places that I would like to be right now, the first is on vacation. My number one spot would be here...

HAWAII

Looking at this...

Although Brooke and Lexy saw a commercial on TV yesterday for Atlantis (Bahamas) and both said at the same time they wanted to go there. So Hawaii or the Bahamas either one would be fine :-)

Second, I would like to be here...

NEW YORK

Picking up one of these...

The special needs adoption agency that we would like to work with (when we get enough money together for a homestudy) is in New York. We would love to be in New York picking up a new son or daughter!

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE RIGHT NOW????

Writer's Workshop - Misconceptions

Over at Mama's Losin' It, Mama Kat hosts a writer's workshop where we choose one of the prompts listed and write a story/poem about that prompt.

My prompt for the day: 2.) What is a common misconception about you?

This kind of goes along with yesterdays post. I believe that one of the most common misconceptions about me is that I am much stronger (mentally and emotionally) than some people.

As a foster parent, I have heard "Oh I could never do that, I just wouldn't be able to love a child and then give them back. It would just break my heart" SO many times when someone finds out we foster. In some ways I understand that person is giving me a compliment but truly all I hear is "wow you must have a heart of stone to be able to do that".

To dispel that myth...
I am NOT any stronger than any other woman and my heart is not made of stone. I have found that it takes me about three days after a new child comes into our home to start feeling the "mama bear" feelings for that child. After that point, each child becomes "my baby" while they are here. The children are loved and cared for as if I had given birth to them. I worry about every little detail of each child...what has their past experiences done to them physically, emotionally & mentally, how can I help this child heal, does this child feel loved and safe in our home, are the visits doing good or more harm to this child. I feed, clothe, hug, tuck in, kiss the boo boo's of this child everyday. I do everything in my power to let this child have a "normal family" while they are here.

So it should be no surprise that I feel an excruciating pain in the depths of my soul each time that I must let one of my foster children leave me to an uncertain situation. I worry and wonder about each child that has left my home...are they okay, do they have enough to eat, are they getting hugged and kissed, do they feel loved and safe, do they feel that I abandoned them. I cry myself to sleep at night thinking about the uncertain future of "my babies".

No, it is not easy being a foster mom and not everyone is meant to do it. I've questioned my ability many times but in the end the question comes down to "if not me, then who?". I'm not stronger, better, or more courageous than anyone else...I'm doing what I'm meant to do at this time just as you are.

Writer's Workshop - The end of my childhood...

Over at Mama's Losin' It, Mama Kat hosts a writer's workshop where we choose one of the prompts listed and write a story/poem about that prompt.

My prompt for the day: 6.) Write about the event that was the end of your childhood

The End of my Childhood...

I don't recall all the details exactly of this time as I believe sometimes we are blessed with a form of amnesia when we go through things that are way to difficult to understand but this is how I remember it...

I was 13 years old. I had a great life and a great best friend, Christina. I loved visiting Christina's house, she lived with her dad, Bob, and her younger brother. Christina's dad was like a second dad to me. He was funny, sweet and treated me like a daughter. He always enjoyed having Christina's friends around and would tell us that he missed us as much as Christina and her brother when they had to go for weekend visits with their mom.

On one of those weekends...the phone at my house began ringing at an abnormally early hour, my mom answered and came in to hand me the phone. To this day I'm not sure who was on the other end but I do know it was a member of my best friends family to tell me that Bob, Christina's dad had been killed in a car accident overnight. I don't remember well what was said or done next but I remember thinking that this couldn't be true...I had just seen him the day before and he had jokingly asked another friend of Christina's and I to stay with him that weekend because the house would be so quiet without Christina and her brother. (I felt guilty for years that I didn't take him up on that offer because Bob would never have went out if I would have been there therefore the accident wouldn't have happened). I remember my mom driving me over to Christina's house that morning with a boxful of donuts to be with Christina and her family but I don't remember the rest of that day.

I don't remember the funeral (but I know I went) or the days surrounding it. I do remember seeing my dad more upset than I had ever seen him (Bob had been his friend) during that time. I remember the devastation I felt that not only had I just lost a man that felt like a second dad to me but that I would also be losing my best friend because she would now have to live with her mother that lived what seemed to me to be a million miles away. I remember crying and talking with Christina during that time but for the life of me I don't remember if I was successful in comforting or helping her, I sure hope so.

Christina went to live with her mom and we lost touch after a while but the memory of our friendship and her dad have stayed with me all this time. I do feel like this tragedy was the end of my childhood...the end of believing that nothing bad could ever happen to me or those around me...the end of innocence.

I just recently found Christina again (through facebook) and I hope to get to know her again.

Writer's Workshop - A Forever Family is...

I found a new blog today at Mama's Losin' It. She hosts a writer's workshop where we choose one of the prompts listed and write a story/poem.

My prompt for the day: 2.) Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet, where the first line starts with the letter "A," the second "B," the third "C," etc., culminating with the final line starting with "Z."(writersdigest.com) Here's the results...

A Forever Family is...

Acceptance
Belonging
Caring
Daddy lovings
Exploring new things
Family Fun days
Goofiness
Hugs
Immeasurable
Joking
Kisses
Laughing
Mommy cuddles
Non-Judging
Open minded
Patient
Questions answered
Reassurance
Stories
Trust
Unconditional Love
a Vow
Wealth of the best kind
X-tra Special
being Yourself
Zest for life