We found out the sibling set (b-3, g-2, b-almost 1) that we had our homestudy submitted for (and that termination was happening this month) are most likely going to stay with the foster parent now. I'm really getting discouraged...why would these foster parents not know until the last moment if they want to be the forever family for these kids?! When we were fostering, we knew within the first week if we would be willing to be a permanent family for the child.
We also found out that the girl sibling set (5, 3, 2) that our worker told us about have now been put on hold due to a relative popping up.
We are still holding out hope that the 3 1/2 year old girl from our state may be "the one". Hopefully we'll hear something soon.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Breakfast with someone "grand"
Today Lexy's school invited someone "grand" in the kids life to have breakfast with them and then shop at the book fair that they had set up.
Thank you Grandpa Tom for taking Lexy, eating the meager little breakfast the school served :) and for letting Lexy pick something out at the book fair!
Thank you Grandpa Tom for taking Lexy, eating the meager little breakfast the school served :) and for letting Lexy pick something out at the book fair!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Snuggles
Lexy has always had issues in two areas, sleeping and calming herself down. I've written about them before here and here.
Sleeping - she goes through cycles of either not being able to go to sleep for hours, waking during the night or both.
Self calming - she gets herself worked up over something and she doesn't have the ability to calm herself back down. She will begin to breathe heavy, get tears in her eyes/cry, resist doing the task at hand and doesn't want to be alone.
When Lexy came to us (at 4 mos.) we noticed both of these issues (as well as others) right away. We helped her through both issues by holding, rocking, singing, carrying, etc...that is after she stopped resisting our touch and began allowing us to comfort her. Lexy has overcome most of the issues she faced because of the neglect (and subsequent attachment problems) she endured before coming to us. She is fully attached and a delightful, funny, smart and loving girl.
And while the sleep and self calming issues happen less frequently now, she still struggles with them. We haven't been able to identify a "why" or "when" for these issues to flare up, they just do. For the sleep issues, we have worked with Lexy to identify things that she can do to help herself get to sleep (I listed some of our ideas in one of the previous posts) but they include listening to noise/music, covering her eyes, playing quietly in bed and if all else fails a half melatonin. The waking in the middle of the night issue is usually solved by moving herself to the couch (she has done our bed too but we discourage this one b/c our bed is too small and she moves around too much).
The self-calming has been a little trickier. Through the years Lexy has learned to identify when she is at "that point" and she will tell me "I'm mad or sad about something and I don't know what to do". It's sad to see her get to this point b/c I can see the fear and desperation for me to do something to help her in her eyes. A lot of times this issue arises when she can't get herself to sleep at night even after trying her hardest (she's not wanting to take melatonin right now and I won't force it) but it also happens at other times during the day (such as homework time last night). I've tried giving her ideas on what else to try, diffusing with humor, telling her to go to timeout/back to bed to calm down...they don't work. I tend to end up (sadly) feeling irratated and frustrated and then I feel bad b/c I know she's not doing this on purpose and she truly just wants my help so I pull her on my lap for a snuggle...and that does it, she's calm. She's begun asking if we can snuggle when she knows she's too worked up to calm herself.
So last night, 15 min. before bedtime I asked Lexy (when she was calm) if she wanted a snuggle and she climbed into my lap. After the 15 min. passed we went on with her bedtime routine...and she went to sleep without getting herself worked up!! This may not work again tonight or the next night but last night it did!
I won't always be able to snuggle with her though...so I need to continue to research things to teach her so that when I'm not available for a snuggle or she's a teen that wants to believe she has no parents or she's an adult out on her own that she will have the skills to comfort and calm herself.
I hate that she had to endure those four months before she came to us and that she may very well have to work hard to overcome the damage that was done in those four months for the rest of her life :(
Sleeping - she goes through cycles of either not being able to go to sleep for hours, waking during the night or both.
Self calming - she gets herself worked up over something and she doesn't have the ability to calm herself back down. She will begin to breathe heavy, get tears in her eyes/cry, resist doing the task at hand and doesn't want to be alone.
When Lexy came to us (at 4 mos.) we noticed both of these issues (as well as others) right away. We helped her through both issues by holding, rocking, singing, carrying, etc...that is after she stopped resisting our touch and began allowing us to comfort her. Lexy has overcome most of the issues she faced because of the neglect (and subsequent attachment problems) she endured before coming to us. She is fully attached and a delightful, funny, smart and loving girl.
And while the sleep and self calming issues happen less frequently now, she still struggles with them. We haven't been able to identify a "why" or "when" for these issues to flare up, they just do. For the sleep issues, we have worked with Lexy to identify things that she can do to help herself get to sleep (I listed some of our ideas in one of the previous posts) but they include listening to noise/music, covering her eyes, playing quietly in bed and if all else fails a half melatonin. The waking in the middle of the night issue is usually solved by moving herself to the couch (she has done our bed too but we discourage this one b/c our bed is too small and she moves around too much).
The self-calming has been a little trickier. Through the years Lexy has learned to identify when she is at "that point" and she will tell me "I'm mad or sad about something and I don't know what to do". It's sad to see her get to this point b/c I can see the fear and desperation for me to do something to help her in her eyes. A lot of times this issue arises when she can't get herself to sleep at night even after trying her hardest (she's not wanting to take melatonin right now and I won't force it) but it also happens at other times during the day (such as homework time last night). I've tried giving her ideas on what else to try, diffusing with humor, telling her to go to timeout/back to bed to calm down...they don't work. I tend to end up (sadly) feeling irratated and frustrated and then I feel bad b/c I know she's not doing this on purpose and she truly just wants my help so I pull her on my lap for a snuggle...and that does it, she's calm. She's begun asking if we can snuggle when she knows she's too worked up to calm herself.
So last night, 15 min. before bedtime I asked Lexy (when she was calm) if she wanted a snuggle and she climbed into my lap. After the 15 min. passed we went on with her bedtime routine...and she went to sleep without getting herself worked up!! This may not work again tonight or the next night but last night it did!
I won't always be able to snuggle with her though...so I need to continue to research things to teach her so that when I'm not available for a snuggle or she's a teen that wants to believe she has no parents or she's an adult out on her own that she will have the skills to comfort and calm herself.
I hate that she had to endure those four months before she came to us and that she may very well have to work hard to overcome the damage that was done in those four months for the rest of her life :(
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Adoption Update
We got a new profile yesterday for a 3 1/2 yr. old girl from our state. We decided to have our homestudy submitted for consideration. I'm sure there will be a lot of interest in her b/c she's a cutie. :) We should know in the next month or so if we are choosen as one of the three or four families to go to a best interest staffing (to choose her family).
Our worker also mentioned a sibling group of three girls (5,3,2) from our state. She's getting more information about them for us.
That's about it in new news for now!
Our worker also mentioned a sibling group of three girls (5,3,2) from our state. She's getting more information about them for us.
That's about it in new news for now!
Valentine's 2010
I forgot my camera when I went to Lexy's school for her Valentine's party but I got this picture from his mom...
What a sweetheart he is...his mom said that he told her that he HAD to get Lexy that dog b/c she would love it :-) He was right, she now sleeps with it every night.
We got Lexy a toy she's been asking for Fin Fin Friends and Brooke got her favorites Reece's and money!
That's Brandon...Lexy's "boyfriend" :) Lexy was so suprised and happy (she danced around giving him hugs) when he, after the school party, handed her a gift bag with this in it...
What a sweetheart he is...his mom said that he told her that he HAD to get Lexy that dog b/c she would love it :-) He was right, she now sleeps with it every night.
We got Lexy a toy she's been asking for Fin Fin Friends and Brooke got her favorites Reece's and money!
Sweet Toby
Last week I got to spend the day with Toby. I love that little guy, he's such a sweetie and so much fun :) But just look at him...doesn't he have mischief written all over that cute little face?!!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Homecoming
This past Friday was Homecoming at Brooke's school. Because of snow days Tues. - Thurs., they didn't really get to enjoy the silliness that they had during Homecoming week earlier in the year but they did get to go to school on Friday so they had their game and crowning of king and queen...
Brooke and the other cheerleaders did a dance too (Brooke is on the far right)...
They also had a Homecoming dance for the students after the game but Brooke was so tired from having a cold and headache all week and sore from cheering/dancing that she said she really didn't get to enjoy it :(
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| Brooke's friend Suzy's sister Hannah won Queen! |
Brooke and the other cheerleaders did a dance too (Brooke is on the far right)...
They also had a Homecoming dance for the students after the game but Brooke was so tired from having a cold and headache all week and sore from cheering/dancing that she said she really didn't get to enjoy it :(
A girl, her dog and a buttload of snow :)
Lexy begged and begged...and begged some more to go out in the snow so I finally caved. Her dog (Rex) sat at the door and whined and wimpered so Lexy asked if he could play with her...
They had a fabulous time!
They had a fabulous time!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The Great Blizzard of 2011
Yep it happened! We woke up to snow yesterday and it continued until after dark, they say we got right around 12 inches. At times it was coming down/blowing so hard that we couldn't see past the front porch and there are now three and four foot drifts everywhere! It got so bad that all the businesses around here were closing down including Sonic and we even heard that the big mall up in the city closed for the day.
The kids were out of school again today and Mike stayed home again...thank goodness because it took him forever to uncover our driveway so we could actually get out if we needed to. Unfortunately there will be no melting for the next couple of days since we still have windchills of below zero :( I think we are supposed to warm up by Sat. but then there's another chance of snow Sun./Mon.
Lexy just can't stand that there is all this wonderful snow out there and we won't let her go out and play in it (it's just TOO cold)! So twice already today we've let her go out and get a bowl of snow to play with on the table and she's loving it! I also made snow cream for the girls for the first time ever, it was really good!
Just got word that there's no school again tomorrow. All the kids on facebook are agreeing with the moms...enough is enough already, they want to go back to school! :)
The kids were out of school again today and Mike stayed home again...thank goodness because it took him forever to uncover our driveway so we could actually get out if we needed to. Unfortunately there will be no melting for the next couple of days since we still have windchills of below zero :( I think we are supposed to warm up by Sat. but then there's another chance of snow Sun./Mon.
Lexy just can't stand that there is all this wonderful snow out there and we won't let her go out and play in it (it's just TOO cold)! So twice already today we've let her go out and get a bowl of snow to play with on the table and she's loving it! I also made snow cream for the girls for the first time ever, it was really good!
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| Eating Snow Cream...YUM! |
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| Our 12 inches |
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| Drifts behind the cars |
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| Lexy's dogs in the snow :) |
Just got word that there's no school again tomorrow. All the kids on facebook are agreeing with the moms...enough is enough already, they want to go back to school! :)
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