Friday, September 30, 2011

Foster Memories Friday - Lexy

As I said in the last post, Lexy came to us about a month before Isaiah left for the first time.

We got a call from a friend of ours that she had just been called about placement of a 4 month old Caucasian baby girl.  She said that she told the worker to call us and that we better take this one.  We were still grieving the thought of losing Isaiah in a month, we had been called about but not accepted several placements previously.  After talking to our friend we had a feeling that we needed to take this placement, it just felt right.  A couple hours later the supervisor from our local SRS office brought Lexy to us. 

I won't share too much of Lexy's story because that is her story to tell (if/when she chooses) now but here are the highlights...
  • We knew we were completely head over heels in love with her after the first few days.
  • It took Lexy 2 weeks to give us that first smile...oh how sweet it was!
  • Brooke confided to us just a few weeks after Lexy arrived that she had asked God for a baby sister and she knew that Lexy was the one he had given her and that she would be staying forever.
  • Lexy had visits with her maternal grandpa for the first eight months she was with us.
  • She had visits with her birthmom for 12 months after that.
  • Parental rights were terminated on birthmom when Lexy was about 24 months old.  Birthdad relinquished his rights at that time.
  • We were SO very happy to finalize Lexy's adoption one and a half years later when she was about 3 1/2 years old.  The worker/agency to do the adoption was very slow but it was so worth the wait!
Lexy is now seven years old.  She is a beautiful, smart, funny, wonderful part of our family.  I could never imagine my life without her!   <3   I always tell Lexy that God knew just what he was doing when he gave us each other....I feel so lucky and blessed that she is my daughter.

I'm wanting to do memory posts about Brooke and Lexy later but here are a few pics of the first few months Lexy was home...

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Mental Health Day

When I woke Lexy up this morning she was whiney, grouchy and still tired.  So I decided to explain what a mental health day is to her and let her take her first one ever.

In our family, a mental health day can be taken twice per school year.  I started this with Brooke back when she was about Lexy's age.  It works for my girls because they normally love school and want to go (so they don't try to take advantage).  I think it helps them to know that they can choose two days during the year to stay home for absolutely no other reason than that they want to.  It gives them a little control and I get a little special time with them.  Just another reason I love being a stay at home mom! 

Lexy and I watched TV/movies, read a few books, snuggled on the couch, played computer games and had her favorites for breakfast and lunch. :)  I do believe it was just what she needed!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


I celebrated my birthday over the weekend.  I think I'm at the point where I'd like to stop celebrating...or at least not put a number to the day :)  I don't feel like I'm getting older so why should I have to be saddled with a number that I don't care for?!!

To celebrate we visited a local festival on Saturday and then on Sunday Mike fixed biscuits and gravy for me for breakfast before Papa (my dad) & Grammy and Mammaw (my mom) & Grandpa Tom went to eat at my favorite mexican restaurant with us and then came back to our house for cake (Mike got me a Tweety Bird cake, my favorite) and ice cream.

Brooke surprised me with a big sparkly Happy Birthday sign that said "I love you" and "I hope you have a great day mommy" :)  I got a necklace and earring set from Mammaw & Tom and a donut maker that I've been wanting from Papa & Grammy.  For my gift from Mike and the girls I asked to wait until the craft machine (Silhoutte) that I've been wanting for a year to go on sale so that I could get that!

Monday, September 26, 2011


We watched Brooke cheer on her football team on Friday...

Avree & Lexy

Lexy & Ryan

Brooke & Taryn

and watched Lexy play two great soccer games on Saturday morning...

Lexy & Brandon

Friday, September 23, 2011

Foster Memories Friday - Isaiah

Another tear jerker for me :( I had to start and stop writing this one many times before getting it done. I'm wondering why I am putting myself through this but it is therapeutic to finally write it down.

Besides short term respite we didn't take another placement for several months, we needed the break.  On the evening of my birthday we got a call for placement of a 3 month old biracial little boy.  The worker said it would be a very short stay (2 weeks at most) and that she could find no one else to take him.  We accepted the placement thinking it's only two weeks, we won't be too attached in two weeks.  I remember the entire drive to pick Isaiah up I was praying that he would be a fussy, ugly little thing (so I wouldn't instantly fall in love).  Just my luck, as I looked in the car seat I saw the most beautiful precious baby boy looking (smiling)back at me...I was a goner from that moment.  Isaiah turned out to be one of the most easy going, smiley, cuddly babies I had ever met.  Brooke loved having a baby in the house to love on again.

Well as happens most times in foster world, Isaiah's two week stay turned into a MUCH longer stay.  He not only had visits with bio dad but also an aunt that wasn't sure if she could take him or not.  But even with all the visits Isaiah continued to be a happy go lucky little guy.  The next 11 months were filled with uncertainty as the decision to place Isaiah with his aunt went back and forth.  During those same 11 months our family was falling completely in love with Isaiah.  The decision was finally made to move Isaiah to the aunts house and we were devastated but had no say or standing in the decision.  The workers in his case were heartless and viewed us as nothing more than babysitters.

Three weeks later we got a call from Isaiah's worker saying that she was having to remove Isaiah from the aunt's home and asked if he could return to us.  We were overjoyed.  When we picked him up from the worker the next day, Isaiah saw me get out of the car and started trying to escape from his car seat and was hollering "momma, momma, momma".  When I picked him up out of his car seat Isaiah hugged my neck and wouldn't let go.  The worker made the comment "well it looks like he knows who you are" and she preceded to tell us that she was happy that we accepted him back and that it looked like we'd be adopting him...what a change of attitude.

For the next few months the aunt stilled received visits (supervised now) but all talk was of us adopting Isaiah after termination of parental rights.  We're not sure exactly what happened but before termination could be done, a grandma paid for aunt to get an attorney to fight for having Isaiah sent back to her.  The worker wouldn't tell us any information but said that the agency had decided to just send Isaiah back instead of fighting it.  By this time Isaiah had been with us long enough (12 months in our state) to qualify us as an interested party so we hired a lawyer to fight on our behalf.

By hiring our own attorney we opened up a huge can of worms but we felt that we had to fight for what we thought was right for Isaiah when no one else was.  Once our lawyer filed our motion with the court the agency was not allowed to move Isaiah before the case was heard by the judge.  Our agency was furious with us because now technically we were saying that they were wrongfully handling the case.

Unsupervised visits started up again with the aunt.  Isaiah was feeling the stress of his life changing once again.  After visits he would just lay around and numerous times throughout everyday he would come up to me and pat my chest saying "my momma" and then snuggle on my lap for the longest time.  He was no longer the happy go lucky little boy that he once was.

The court date was set for the day before Christmas Eve.  We knew that the chances of us still losing Isaiah were high..  Cases like this just weren't the norm and success rate was very low but we knew we were doing the right thing and that we would regret a decision not to fight for the rest of our lives.  In the end the judge (who was fairly new), with tears in her eyes, said that because termination had not had a chance to happen yet that she was forced to allow Isaiah to be sent back to the aunt because he was not in "immediate danger" and she was a blood relative.  The judge looked at us and apologized and then looked at aunt and told her that she better not make another mistake and that she got lucky this time.  We have heard that the judge mentions our case all the time saying that she felt that she listened to the DA about what decisions she could and couldn't make instead of looking further into it herself and that she felt she failed the child in our case...and that she won't make that mistake again.

We had Isaiah for two more weeks (after he went to the aunt for Christmas) and then he was picked up from our home by his worker.  When she strapped him into the car he was crying and screaming for momma :(  That's the last time we saw him.  He was with us for a total of 15 months from the age of three months to eighteen months.  Isaiah would now be 8 years old.

** Our next foster child (Lexy) was placed in our home one month before Isaiah left for the first time.  Lexy and Isaiah were only 8 months apart in age and Isaiah loved that baby girl so much.  It makes me sad to think that he was taken from Lexy...and Brooke.  I still miss that little boy so much :(

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Lexy had a soccer game yesterday morning.  It was chilly to start but got down right COLD when the rain started pouring down on us!  The other team didn't want to stop playing but we decided to take Lexy and leave, no sense in any of us getting sick!

Speaking of sick, Brooke woke up feeling better so Mike and I got to go on our anniversary date!  Lexy stayed (and got spoiled) with Mammaw and Grandpa Tom and Brooke spent the night with her friend Taryn.
Mike and I choose not to go out too much without the girls (just our preference) but it was nice to have some one on one time with my sweetie.  :) 

We started off our date going to McDonald's (of all places!!) for lunch...our excuse was that they have the best coke and we both love coke!  Next we headed up to the casino to donate a little bit of money...I say donate because we only spent about 15 minutes playing before our small allotment of money was gone.  After that we headed to Target to waste a little time and look at some Christmas gift possibilities before dinner.  For dinner we tried a new place, Cheddar's that was recommended to us by our friends Bryan and was YUMMY!  We decided to see a movie after dinner, we chose "Our Idiot Brother"...yeah don't bother seeing it!  Although it did give us a good laugh that we can NOT chose a good movie to save our life! :)  We headed home after the movie and got to spend a whole night in a quiet house...well minus the thunderstorms...and we slept in late this morning before picking Lexy and Brooke up.

I can't believe that 21 years ago (at the age of almost 17) I met the man that I felt I was meant to spend the rest of my life with and I still feel that way.  We are so lucky to be blessed with the relationship we have!

Friday, September 16, 2011

In a funk

I haven't been writing much, I'm in some sort of funk :(  The past few weeks I can't shake the "something's not right with my world" feeling.  I think it may be adoption related.  We weren't terribly disappointed about not being chosen in the two staffings but I am disappointed that we haven't been matched with "our kids".  It didn't help that at the class that we went to last weekend about half the families have been matched...I want our turn to come!  We have the staffing for the sib set of four coming up on Sept. 27th but there are three other families being considered so I just can't help but think that our chances of being chosen are...well, 1 in 4.  If we are not chosen we are back to square one with no possible adoption situations :(

We've been keeping busy with school, Lexy's soccer practices and games and all of Brooke's running around...have I said how nice it is that she has a car, she can now tote herself back and forth! 

I got to spend a little time with the sweetest little nephew ever this week.  He is at the cutest age (he'll be 2 next month) and talking up a storm :)  I can't wait for the new little nephew that should be making his appearance within the next month!

I still need to get pictures scanned for my foster memories post...this one has been hard for me to write and looking at the pictures has brought me to tears multiple times.  Isaiah will forever be my son in my heart.

Tomorrow is our 17th wedding anniversary (together 21 years)!  Mike and I have plans to spend the day together...that is if Brooke gets to feeling better.  She hasn't been feeling well (allergies) and this afternoon she was just achy, exhausted and running a low know she's sick when she misses cheering at a game!

Monday, September 12, 2011

A class & a b-day

On Saturday Mike and I had the pleasure (HA!) of getting up at 5 am to make a three hour drive to attend an all day class with our adoption agency.  I thought the class was interesting, Mike's word for it was boring :)  The class was about the impact of trauma on a child's growing brain.  The second part of the class will be in October.

On Sunday we celebrated Mike's birthday.  He didn't really want to go anywhere so we just stuck around the house for the day.  I made his favorite breakfast of french toast, the girls and I made him a cake, we had stuffed shells for dinner, he opened gifts and I did his chores for the day.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Foster Memories Friday - Brittany, William, Gabriel

For the next several months we only took respite placements.

Brittany (3) and William (5 mos.)  came to stay with us several times when their foster parents needed respite.  William was such a roly poly, we loved it!

Gabriel was another one of our respite placements, I believe he was about 2.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Sweet Lexy

Last week Lexy came home from school and told us that her teacher's birthday was on Monday (Labor Day) and that she wanted to take her something on Tuesday.  I asked her what she wanted to take her and Lexy said "her favorite thing, a blueberry muffin".  So we saved one of the jumbo blueberry muffins we made on Monday, put a candle in it, wrapped it and Lexy attached a homemade birthday card.  This morning Lexy was so excited to give it to her teacher...but she forgot it at home :(

So after dropping her off at school I returned home and got the gift (along with what Brooke forgot and called to have me take to her, what a morning!) and took it into the school.  Lexy was so excited to see me with the gift and ran it right into her teacher.

I love that Lexy is always thinking of others :)

Last Week

Last week was spent "babysitting" my mom after her neck surgery.  It wasn't too bad though, kinda like watching a newborn baby, she pretty much slept anytime she sat down. :) 

Mike was on call for work all week so on Saturday Brooke, Lexy and I headed up to the city for some shopping and a movie, I love spending time with those girls :)  We stopped by McDonald's for lunch first because Lexy had seen a flyer that Ronald McDonald would be there...

Then we headed up to the mall for some shopping, Brooke got soaked looking at movie times at another theater, we ate dinner and then went back and watched the movie Spy Kids, All the Time in the World at the mall.  We had so much fun the whole day and laughed so hard!

For Labor Day we didn't do much.  Lexy and I made blueberry muffins and sausage for breakfast and Mike cooked steak on the grill for dinner...and we all lazed around the house in between.