Ha! I should have known that the moment I started asking for peace and guidance it would be clearly shown to me :) Today I feel great, today I have grasped that this is NOT about me...this is about something SO much more important. Important as in giving another child(ren) a family, love, a home, a warm hug. someone to call Mommy & Daddy. It's also about helping other children find all of that too with other families!
You see today, while getting my hair cut, it came up in conversation that we are in the process of adopting thru the foster care system. The woman cutting my hair commented that she thought "that was only for rich people". After I explained that indeed we were doing this on one (small) income, she revealed her desire of many years to provide a home for more children (her's are grown). She spoke of what she thought a good home would do for a child that has nowhere to call home, no one to call "mom". She spoke of how she would like to provide the most important thing...love to a child that needs it. She thanked me profusely for talking to her, providing her with information and opening her eyes to what she needed to do (adopt a waiting child/teen)...but I have to say I think she was the one to open MY eyes, to make me take the focus off of MY nervousness and doubt and focus on what's really important...THE CHILDREN!
It felt really good to know that I may have just provided another child with a family just by talking to a stranger about what is so obviously my hearts passion. When we were fostering I found myself avoiding talking about or encouraging anyone to do it b/c of the bad experiences we had so it feels nice to be able to share positive information now!
I smiled all the way home with my newfound peace :)