Thursday, April 2, 2009

Writer's Workshop - Misconceptions

Over at Mama's Losin' It, Mama Kat hosts a writer's workshop where we choose one of the prompts listed and write a story/poem about that prompt.

My prompt for the day: 2.) What is a common misconception about you?

This kind of goes along with yesterdays post. I believe that one of the most common misconceptions about me is that I am much stronger (mentally and emotionally) than some people.

As a foster parent, I have heard "Oh I could never do that, I just wouldn't be able to love a child and then give them back. It would just break my heart" SO many times when someone finds out we foster. In some ways I understand that person is giving me a compliment but truly all I hear is "wow you must have a heart of stone to be able to do that".

To dispel that myth...
I am NOT any stronger than any other woman and my heart is not made of stone. I have found that it takes me about three days after a new child comes into our home to start feeling the "mama bear" feelings for that child. After that point, each child becomes "my baby" while they are here. The children are loved and cared for as if I had given birth to them. I worry about every little detail of each child...what has their past experiences done to them physically, emotionally & mentally, how can I help this child heal, does this child feel loved and safe in our home, are the visits doing good or more harm to this child. I feed, clothe, hug, tuck in, kiss the boo boo's of this child everyday. I do everything in my power to let this child have a "normal family" while they are here.

So it should be no surprise that I feel an excruciating pain in the depths of my soul each time that I must let one of my foster children leave me to an uncertain situation. I worry and wonder about each child that has left my home...are they okay, do they have enough to eat, are they getting hugged and kissed, do they feel loved and safe, do they feel that I abandoned them. I cry myself to sleep at night thinking about the uncertain future of "my babies".

No, it is not easy being a foster mom and not everyone is meant to do it. I've questioned my ability many times but in the end the question comes down to "if not me, then who?". I'm not stronger, better, or more courageous than anyone else...I'm doing what I'm meant to do at this time just as you are.


Shawn said...

Ahh, so YOU are the Wonder Woman after all!

High Five to Kansas women..are we the bestest or what?! ;o)

MommyAmy said...

Such a great answer to the prompt! Really though, you're amazing. You're right, not everyone can do what you're doing, and thank God that you are! Part of me would really love to be a foster parent, but I don't think my hubby would go for it. :(

PS: Love your new layout! Cute that you stuck bunny ears on your kiddos. :P

Denise said...

Years ago I went to class to become a therapeutic foster parent. My exhusband and I had taken in so many kids by that time and I thought it was high time I learned what was really going on with them and better ways to help them. Amazing what they teach. We never did the "official" fostering thing, but always had an open door. I tip my hat to you and thank you for helping these blessings. I know it's hard to let them go, especially when the conditions aren't great that they are returning to... but these kids will always remember you, your love and your guidance! You are doing an amazing thing!

Mama Kat said...

Wow. You're amazing. I've tossed around the idea of doing the Foster To Adopt program offered here. I don't know if we'll go forward with it maybe when Kainoa's a little older. Saying goodbye would be so hard, but you're's worth it if it means you provided a real home for awhile.