Sometimes I have to be the mean mom and it sucks! I hope someday she understands why I do the things I do. I tried to explain to her that it is my job to make sure, before she moves out and is totally responsible for herself, that she learns what it takes and the sacrifices and hard choices you have to make to make it in this world.
Her grades have always been very good and still are but she let her grades drop. I got the standard "you should see my friends' grades, they get C's, D's and sometimes even F's". I explained that it's not about the letters on that report card...it's about the fact that her grades have DROPPED. I know that high school work is hard, there is a lot more socializing that must be done, boys are a priority, staying up late is a must, computers and phones are huge distractions that we didn't have when I was her age and that she has been stressed thanks to a horrible friend situation BUT...grades slipping is one of those things that I can't just overlook. In my opinion it is a sign that her focus isn't where it needs to or should be.
I had her sit down and write her suggestions of what we should do. I wanted to make this her problem with her solutions, not me policing her. It took me all day to come to the calm state I needed to be in. She had a lot of good suggestions. We discussed them, tweaked them and added details, deadlines and consequences. We put it all in writing and both signed it.
She by NO means was happy when our conversation came to an end (except for the fact that she could leave the room!). I'm still the MEAN MOM but I'm hoping that someday she'll understand why I'm OK with that. I see so many of her classmates going down the wrong path, focusing on things that should not be focused on at this age...I just want better for my child.
PS As I wrote this, she came in and told me that she found some extra credit that one of the teachers gave out, she excitedly said "I'll do it tonight". This teaching life lessons stuff is hard work but oh so worth it when you see it working!